10. You can pretend to help decide which CIA-groomed figurehead will front for the banksters during the next four years.
9. If the rigged voting machines break down, your vote might actually be counted.
8. With a bumpersticker like “Don’t blame me, I voted for Cynthia McKinney” (or your favorite 3rd party candidate) you’ll feel superior to the sheeple for the next four years.
7. Poking little holes in computer cards is good exercise for the muscles in your hands and wrists – and since you only do it every four years, you won’t get repetitive motion syndrome.
6. Voting offers an opportunity to do your civic duty: While standing in line waiting to vote, you can hand out 9/11 truth DVDs and explain to the sheeple that if voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.
5. If each of the two major party candidates gets exactly fifty million votes not counting yours, your vote will determine which candidate can brag about getting the most votes. Unfortunately, due to the mysteries of the electoral college system, getting the most votes has nothing to do with being elected President.
4. You’ll get to play a minor role in an outrageous, over-the-top farce, without having to get yourself hired as an extra in a Mel Brooks movie.
3. Since your vote has no effect whatsoever on the actual governance of the nation, you can go ahead and vote without feeling guilty about the mass murders and genocide that the government is guaranteed to keep right on perpetrating, regardless of the electoral outcome.
2. You can cast a write-in vote for a relatively honest president of some relatively honest country, like Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and hope that your local newspaper will mention it along with the write-in votes for Donald Duck, Ted Nugent, Ted Kaczynski, OJ Simpson, and Mishka the Talking Dog.
1. Casting a meaningless vote in a system rigged to victimize people like you is better than masturbation: It allows you to screw yourself, without requiring you to assume an anatomically impossible position and risk serious injury.
Endless vote fraud, yet another violation of our rights. The gov’t constantly violates our rights.
They violate the 1st Amendment by caging protesters and banning books like “America Deceived II”.
They violate the 4th and 5th Amendment by allowing TSA to grope you.
They violate the entire Constitution by starting undeclared wars.
Impeach Obama, support Ron Paul.
Last link of “America Deceived II” before it is completely banned:
http://www.amazon.com/America-Deceived-II-Possession-interrogation/dp/1450257437
Ha! That's good stuff!
Nice
Voting is one of the wonders of hyporcracy, the best governance system money can buy.
Truth is funnier than fiction.
You beat me to it.
nice one! can't believe that in 2012 you still have to explain it to the sheeple
Beautiful Kevin—well done–that's a hoot, and so true!
Voting might matter. Do you feel smugly superior if you don't. What do you gain if you don't vote, or if you encourage others not to vote? Historically, who has been elected has made a difference in our daily lives. It's not only the economy, but human rights. This is terribly cynical, and there's a lot of good reason to be cynical. But I'd rather have Obama in office than the Romney/Ryan banker-butt-boys any day.